In The Business World
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Beating Shyness In The Business World |
The business world is the one place where shy people can just as easily shake or shine.
Many shy people thrive in the business world because it provides us with a "role" to play that legitimizes the things we do. As long as we're acting "on behalf" of the company or in the best interests of someone else, we find the strength to do great things. But ask us to step outside that role---let's say, at the holiday office party, on the company softball team or in the boss' office to negotiate something for ourselves and it's over. We melt, if not dissolve, as our self-confidence crumbles. Then again, for some of us, there is no such thing as a safe place in the business world, because few if any social interactions are tolerable. For us, our only hope is to find a position that requires little or no interaction with other people---as a bookkeeper, a computer programmer or maybe a night janitor.
But the saddest part about shyness in the business world is not the discomfort it causes us, but the opportunities we miss as we sit back in staff meetings, training sessions and business negotiations silently watching as our colleagues speak up and reap their rewards while we're still formulating our thoughts.
Overcoming shyness in the business world is hard. It requires all of the skills necessary to overcome shyness in other areas of our life and more. Not only must we be able to carry on a conversation with others at a moment's notice, but we must be able to do it under pressure on a job interview, during a sales pitch or on a cold call. From networking to resume writing to public speaking, shyness stunts our growth because it keeps us from learning the things we need to know to do our jobs well---things that many of our colleagues learn by taking classes or simply by comparing notes with other people on the job.
WorkplaceBlues.com sums things up nicely in their article "Are You Too Shy To Try?" when they remind us that courage and confidence "evolve over time through learning and practice and . . . by making mistakes . . . Sales people, the group of people known for their charisma and confidence, spend more time and money developing these skills than any other group."
In an effort to give you a head start, I've listed some of the more common skills you're likely to need to thrive in the workplace along with links to sites that can help you learn more about these skills. I hope they can be of some help.
BEA Systems' Bashful Best Hope You may find this story about Alfred Chuang, chief executive of BEA Systems, inspirational independent of how well BEA Systems is doing. Once painfully shy, Mr. Chuang took standup comedy classes to help him deal more effectively with people
Indiana Business Magazine In his Don't Be Shy article, Steve Kaeble takes tips from Bernardo Carducci (noted expert in the shyness field) and helps put shyness in the business world into perspective.
Is Technology Making You Shy? Stanford researchers suggest that technology is contributing to a decline in our social skills. In her article Is Technology Making You Shy? Mary-Ellen Drummond offers ten simple tips to us to help us keep our social skills sharp.
The Association For Women In Computing I enjoy reading this article, mostly because it's short, supportive and empowering and captures the essence of why we need to network. While aimed at women in the computing industry, it's equally appropriate for all of us, independent of gender or industry..
Business.Com This site offers links to a wide range of articles on networking issues from mentoring, contact development and business dinners to networking letters, job hunting and rules for using technology. You may want to scroll down past the "Sponsored Links" to the "Listings" which are distinguished by a fine dotted line and small print. In particular, I enjoyed reading some of the question and answered articles written by Joan Lloyd, but I think you'll find links to many other helpful resources on this site, as well.
CareerJournal.com I've linked you to the Networking section of CareerJounal.com where you'll notice a couple of articles written specifically for us shy people, as well as a host of tips on networking in general. You may see this site listed under than more than one section of this page. That's because it's packed will a lot of useful information. Check it out.
Don't be shy: Networking tips for the timid Nice article by Joan Lloyd providing a number of practical tips to ease the pain of networking. The truly shy among you may find some of these tips overwhelming. But if you do your homework first (check out the Tips page of this website), odds are that sooner or later you'll be up to the job, if you are not already.
Entrepreneur.com Entrepreneur.com is a great resource for people wanting to beef up their business skills, in general. I've linked you to an article entitled "Networking," but the there are a lot more articles where this one came from (hint - just enter networking and shy in the search box the upper right hand corner). Don't be intimidated if you feel too shy to follow their recommendation to the letter. Just know, that you're not a lone. Most people would have difficulty doing everything they recommend from the get go. The reason I linked you to this particular article is that it encourages us to develop a five year plan. And while their plan may not be the right plan for you, it does acknowledge that networks (and networking skills) are things that don't just happen. We have to build them overtime.
The Riley Report Maintained by Margaret Dikel, a librarian by training and an internet consultant and career counselor by profession, this site offers a wealth of job related links to resources on the internet. I've linked you to the Networking Advice page, but be sure to check out links to everything from resumés, cover letters and salary guides to job listings and search tips.
Susan RoAnne Author and public speaker, it is probably safe to say Susan RoAnne has helped thousands of people improve their networking skills. This link takes you to the business networking page of her site, but look around some of the other pages as you may find some helpful information.
Presentations & Public Speaking . . .
Charisma Consultants This site covers everything from strategies for dealing with stage fright and tips for working an audience to help with writing speeches and handling props.
Five Ways to Control Your Public-Speaking Anxiety A thoughtful piece written by Milton Wood, Ph.D. offering strategies for both thinking about and dealing with the fear of public speaking. The article is part the Public Speaking Anxiety/Phobia Group site which includes links to resources dealing with social anxiety, a message board addressing a variety of topics and a recommended readings section.
LJL Seminars A professional speaker, Lenny Laskowski shares tips on a wide variety of topics ranging from how to use flip charts effectively to how to analyze your audience and how to make transitions in your speech. While much of the material is fairly basic, that's a good thing because it reminds of simple things we tend to forget---things that can make or break a presentation.
Presenters University It'll take you a while to wade through all the information on this site which includes articles on everything from tips for structuring the content of your presentations and suggestions for creating effective visual aides to strategies for improving your presentation style and tutorials for commonly used elements of software applications.
School for Champions This site will link to all sorts of resources about speaking. Don't be intimidated if some of the sites they link to look like they're directed at professional speakers. That just means the information they include is good and you may need to break it into bite size chunks that feel comfortable to you.
Toastmaster's International An incredible resource for anyone wanting to refine their skills and increase their comfort level speaking in front of others. Shy people may find the experience threatening at first, but for those of you who can stick it out, the pain is well worth the gain. You can find Toastmaster groups in all around the world, with several to choose from in most metropolitan cities in the United States. I encourage people to try more than one group before settling into to a "home" group. You may want to let people in the group know you're shy from the get go. Odds are you will be met with a chorus of "I am too!"
Career Search and Planning . . .
CIO.com This is the job search page for CIO Magazine (for the uninitiated, CIO stands for Chief Information Officer) and although the site may be geared toward upper end technical jobs, I think everyone will find the job search tips and links to additional resource sites invaluable . Be sure to scroll through the entire page to take advantage of the full range of resource links presented here.
Monster.com Probably the most popular career site on the internet, Monster.com is packed with practical information to help you with every stage of the job search process. From resume tips, salary information, networking strategies and job search capabilities, this site is a must see.
Occupational Outlook Handbook A great resource for people to wanting to know more about what it means to work in a particular field, the Occupational Outlook Handbook describes what workers do on the job, working conditions, the training and education needed, earnings, and expected job prospects for a broad range of occupations. It is presented by the U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Statistics and is revised every two years.
What Can I Do With A Major In . . .? Want to know what you can do with your degree? Check out this site hosted by the University of North Carolina. It lists job titles associated with different fields of study, skills associated with those fields (something that can be helpful when thinking about your resume or job application) and links to a career planning, professional associations and job search resources associated with different degrees.
WannaLearn.com A great resource in general, I've linked you to the "Business & Careers: Finding a Job" page of WannaLearn.com.
Resume Writing & Cover Letters. . .
A note about resumes - As shy people, we often undersell ourselves---leaving out valuable information about our skills, talents and abilities, thinking they are either unimportant or inadequate. As you read through the tips on the resume sites listed below, keep in mind that prospective employers are not mind readers and that if you don't tell them about your strengths, other people will tell them about theirs and you are the one who is likely to lose out.
careerbuilders.com This page contains articles on everything from tips on resumé writing (online and off) to strategies for writing cover letters and getting your resumé noticed.
CareerJounal.com This site includes tips and examples of resume and cover letter writing. It explains different kinds of resumes (chronological, functional, electronic & curriculum vitae), as well as links to a number of other tips pages and useful articles on the topic.
Recruiters' Top 10 Resume Pet Peeves Want to know what not to do when you're writing your resume. Check out these ten tips.
Tips on Resume Writing As far as I can tell, this site is sponsored Montana State University (or at least it's linked to it) and has a number of wonder resume writing and job hunting links to choose from, including sites that explain scannable resumes and tips for ruing a resume.
Interview & Job Negotiation Skills . . .
ASA Arline Simpson Associates, Inc. provides a variety of links to pages covering everything from interviewing strategies, common interview mistakes and strategies dealing with rejection. Don't take the "body language" link too seriously. It's interesting, but the material is more complex that they suggest.
Career City A great site with tips to walk you through the interview process from getting your references together and preparing your resume to how to dress, manage your interviews and negotiate benefits.
Job Interview Resources from the Indiana University Bloomington Libraries. This is an outstanding site filled references to wonderful print and web resources to help you through the interview process. A great place to start!
Staff & Executive Resources (go to "Candidate Services" and click "Interview Tips) A nice two page summary of things you'll want to remember when interviewing for a job. Be sure to click on the link to page two at the bottom of page one.
StaffingLinks.com Another good site comprised largely of links to some of the better interview tip sites on the web. Check out the site map for links to a wide range of other career related information, including lists of professional associations organized by industry.
WorkTree.com This site includes a wealth of tips on everything from job interviews, resume writing and salary negotiation to how to write cover letters, conduct job searches and even resign from your job.
Iowa University Counseling Service This is an outstanding site for people looking for definitions and summaries of some of the better assertiveness techniques.
Mental Health Sanctuary Another good site describing responsible ways to be assertive without being aggressive.
Department of Veteran Affairs I don't know about you, but I found this an unlikely place to find information about assertiveness. However, the DESC model they present makes a lot of sense---D=describe, E=Express, S=Specify, C=Consequences. Check it out.
Santa Ana College & Santiago Canyon College I like the Assertiveness page of this site serving "Students at Santa Ana College and Santiago Canyon College," because it provides sound practical advice in a condensed format, along with an added bonus "Career Planning Life Home Page" that provides useful information for people thinking through their next career move, as well.
Craig Harrison This is another short, practical tips page. This one is presented by Craig Harrison, who is a motivational speaker.
Inc Magazine In Magazine is an online business magazine packed with information from how to start a home business to finance and human resources. I've linked you to series of articles on cold calls. Be sure to search the site for more articles on "cold calls" and other topics that may be of interest to you.
Washington Business Journal In his article "Heat up cold calls with these fixes for phone faux pas," Jeffrey Gitomer walks us through some of the cold hard facts about cold calls.
BizMove.com The article I've pointed you to "Selling Tips" is one of many business tips articles available on this site (for additional sales and marketing articles click here). As a "recovering" shy person, my initial reaction to some of the material in this article was to cringe. Largely, because it reminded me of manipulative sales people I've disliked in the past. At the same time, I recognize that many of these sales people appear, at least on the surface, to have been very successful. At the very least, this article provides food for thought about where and how to manage your sales initiatives and opens your eyes to possible sales strategies that may be in use by your competitors. The appropriateness of these techniques will clearly depend on a combination of your personality and your business model.
EGOPOWER This site provides a wealth of tips well known to effective sales people. Many of you will find some of these tips offensive and down right manipulative, but if nothing else, it's important to know what the competition is doing. From presentation and motivation techniques to telephone and persuasion tips, we can all learn from the site. The key is to recognize those strategies that are consistent with who you are and what you believe in and forget the rest.
bbOnline, stresses the importance of not letting your shyness get in the way of closing sales deals.
iVillage Nice article with tips for marketing for shy people.
Make the Most of Networking Technically this article is on networking, but the tips provided are particularly helpful for conferences and business meetings. Don't despair if the tips seem a little outside your current comfort zone. The advise is good and provides something to shoot for later.
Surviving a Business Conference While this article offers tips for shy conference goers, by far the most important message it delivers is that you're not alone if you feel shy and uncomfortable at conferences. Odds are a significant percentage of the attendees feel just like you do.
Business Planning Resources . . .
Entrepreneur.com Need help figuring out your business plan? Are you lost when it comes to thinking about payroll taxes? Could you use a business mentor, but don't have much money or know where to find one? This page includes links to organizations like Score and the Small Business Association (SBA), which generally provide a wealth of information and guidance for little or no cost. I also found some useful ideas browsing around the site--however, many of them involve buying a product of some sort.
Silent Partners Another wonderful article from Entrepreneur.com. In a few short paragraphs it cautions employers to distinguish between employees who lack the motivation to actively participate in the workplace and the untapped resource of eager, but shy, employees who need your encouragement to to blossom
Rhonda Abrams A syndicated columnist, author, and public speaker, Rhonda Abrams provides tips for marketing, managing and promoting your business. I've linked you to a series of articles she's written on everything from getting publicity for your company to time management and taxes. Many of the articles are pretty general, but if you have the patience to sort through them, you are bound to find a useful tip or two.
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This site is provided as is without any express or implied warranties. While every effort has been taken to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in on this site, the author assumes no responsibility for errors or omissions, or for damages resulting from the use of the information contained herein. This site is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice and/or counseling.
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© copyright 2011, Renée Gilbert, Ph.D.